And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
