the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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