Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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