He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
