you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
