i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
