some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
