i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
