I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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