Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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