fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize