she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
