well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
