the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
nutella sex= disaster
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
