are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
