He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I seem to have left my pride at pride
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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