people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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