do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
