do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
