why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
