your room smells of hookers.
And success
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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