Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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