fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
