just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
