Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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