I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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