Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
