is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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