i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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