Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
