Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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