I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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