I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
