he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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