im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You may now shotgun with the bride
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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