i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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