There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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