I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I need moral support for this bender
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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