I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
