We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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