it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
