Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
