Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
