the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
