THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
