you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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