id be glad to
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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