Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
