that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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