he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
