i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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