careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
