I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
