He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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