I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
