I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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