Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
