you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
