what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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