Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I can't trust your balls anymore.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
