I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
