Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
