your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize