We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
