ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
