TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
