last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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