i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I have post one night stand depression
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